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How to Become a Respected and Effective Parent
Tip 1: Argue unconditionally

Whether we like it or not, we live in a society with many conventions. Sometimes our children feel that in order to be loved, they must behave in a certain way. They have a hard time separating who they are from what they do, and, unfortunately, we ourselves contribute to this confusion. For example, when we praise kids for excellent team play, for being good at playing a musical instrument, or for winning a competition. And while there is nothing wrong with recognizing the achievements of your son or daughter, such a statement must certainly be balanced by recognizing the unconditional value of the child as such.

To do this, you just need to say to your young creature: “You know, I was thinking here ... I know that from time to time we have disagreements, but despite all this, you are the best thing that ever came into my life. You don't need to say anything. I just want you to know about it. "

The secret of the correct preparation and submission of such a statement is to immediately ask some question that has nothing to do with what was said (for example, "Tell me, maybe you happen to know where the scissors are?"); then leave the room or make the situation so comfortable that the child may not respond to your invaluable words.

Random notes left on the bathroom mirror are another way to reassure your baby (without his presence) that he is of great importance to you and heighten his responsive feeling. Continue to prove it in small, almost "random" ways. And soon you will see amazing transformations.

Tip 2: Empower Your Child's Choices

Whenever possible, allow your child to improve their decision-making skills by offering them specific choices. This is especially useful for a teenager.who has difficulty in completing the assigned tasks, since the child is more inclined to start and complete what he has chosen. For example, give him five cards, each with a specific task written on it. Tell him that if he or she begins to complete the tasks within ten minutes (indicate the hours), then only three of them will need to be completed, two cards at the end he can return to you. This approach not only eliminates a number of minor problems, but is also usually perceived by the child as a fair and reasonable gesture from his parent.

Tip 3: sometimes let the boy guide you

If you have a young man in your family who sometimes criticizes the way you do things, let him plan the next family picnic or home event himself. Provide him with a few guidelines and a budget, and then let him follow through on his own. This may not necessarily guarantee that everything will go well, but it will eliminate most of the complaints. Be sure to acknowledge your child's investment.

In the family, it would be good to create a "communication center" - a board with notes like "to remember" (for example, near the refrigerator). It is necessary to mark something important on it - meetings, events, valuable dates. All family members should read them and be responsible for daily updates. In this case, “I didn't know” will no longer be an excuse. Let your young family member take charge of posting messages, for example, in the coming week. In addition, this strategy ensures that the young man in charge of the messages on the board does not “forget” what is written there. Again, acknowledge his efforts.

Tip 4: make doing assignments (responsibilities) a pleasure

There is no rule that says that housework and various tasks must be unpleasant and endless. Especially if there is an Official Website then it will be easy for you. However, the fact is that most of the family conflicts occur precisely because of household chores (including homework). 

If your kids have time (you) for household chores, try, for example, establishing a Gotcha! Award. To do this, use a timer that will indicate the right time to begin household chores. Tell your child that whenever the timer goes off, they have the opportunity to receive a bonus (for example, in the form of an increase in pocket money or permission to go to bed later), provided that at that point they are "caught" doing this routine work. Not only will this approach make it more likely to be completed, the process will be fun and engaging. You can also practice in writing written works for how much the child will write a written work. Enjoy it with This will teach your child to express their thoughts quickly.

Another interesting way to approach problem solving is called "push and create." Each time your children finish their homework using or daily chores, give them a small strip of paper (write “done” or “approved” on the white side, and a sketch on the other side). The child then places (pushes) the paper into a jar with a slot in the lid. At the end of the week, in the case of drawing up the most complete drawing and guessing the image, the child receives a prize (additional motivation will be to place this much-desired prize in a prominent place). Young people will quickly guess that the more pieces of paper in their bank, the higher the chances of winning. The more pieces of paper, the more completed tasks and the fewer problems.

Tip 5: relax

If we are not careful, parenting will be so victorious that we will neglect the opportunity to enjoy it. Hold on to your sense of humor ; you will need it. Spontaneity is a great source of pleasure, and when done in good faith it almost always improves relationships. Food duels and water pistol duels are certainly not very clean, but they are a lot of fun. No special harm is expected from this, and it will not be, and after all, you can join in the cleaning together.

Let your kids know that parents are not perfect. Encourage them to tell you when you say or do something that bothers them or hurts their feelings. If you were wrong, apologize. Everyone makes mistakes, but responsibility and trying to fix everything in the best possible way always command special respect.

What can really impress your kids? This is what you allow them to self-assess themselves. When given the opportunity to assess themselves, children tend to be tougher than adults. One teacher using this technique was able to eliminate all the complaints and grumbling in his class. He gave his students a task and, in parallel with it, a simple questionnaire to which a sticker was attached.

Any young man who filled out this questionnaire (marking or not marking the items “did not get up,” “worked silently,” “was accurate,” “completed the task") could attach it to the task, keeping the sticker for himself. The teacher claimed that this technique worked very well. It is not difficult to adapt it at home. For example, pay the child upfront for the additional household chores and let him decide whether he wants to keep the money for himself or not. If this approach doesn't work, don't repeat it, but it's worth a try.

Tip 6: use non-standard solutions

Sometimes drastic measures are needed. Think about it. If you have a child who deliberately procrastinates and wastes time, a simple, unpretentious and provocative statement can serve as a trigger to finally start at least some movement. For example: "Denis, I was thinking ... what if you are going to forget to take out the trash bin again, like last week, and the week before? .. This time I intend to carefully watch and observe whether you take out the trash this morning or no. If that doesn't happen, we'll have to talk about it tonight. What time will be convenient for you to meet with me for a serious conversation? " So, if the child wants to avoid an unpleasant conversation, all they have to do is just get up and take out the trash.

Tip 7: recognize improvements

Children sometimes feel that no matter how much good they do, no one notices it. So notice! Acknowledge your child's efforts, express your appreciation and appreciation for the work they have done, and interpret what you think these good changes mean. For example: “Sasha, during the whole week I never had to remind you about homework. It really made a huge impression on me, and it tells me that you are doing a wonderful job to become more responsible. "

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